Just don't even touch your car in the wintertime

"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee) 01/21/2016 at 14:29 • Filed to: None

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Whatever you do will be the exact wrong way to do it and you and your loved ones will all die so lock the keys up and don’t touch them until the ambient temperature is at least 50F.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:32

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If you drive in the winter, you and/or your car will die, and you're also doing it all wrong.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:35

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Apparently everything I do is wrong so screw it.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/21/2016 at 14:37

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You're screwing it wrong, you need rear-wheel drive winter screws.

Wacko > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:37

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then I wouldn’t drive for half the year. would loose my job, house....

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:37

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Great idea, leaves the road free for fun in my TRUCK.

BmanUltima's car still hasn't been fixed yet, he'll get on it tomorrow, honest. > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:37

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Ten-Four. M'kay.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 01/21/2016 at 14:39

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Everything you know is wrong: black is white, up is down, and short is long.

BKosher84 > Wacko 01/21/2016 at 14:40

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BUT AT LEAST YOU DIDN’T TOUCH YOUR CAR AND DIE

Officer Jim Lahey is not a real cop > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:44

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Just don’t even touch your car in the wintertime

-California

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/21/2016 at 14:46

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Center of gravity is too high if you even breath on the brake pedal you will flip into a ditch right on top of a van full of children that had previously flipped into the ditch.

Urambo Tauro > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:46

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Sorry, not gonna happen.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/21/2016 at 14:48

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Dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria!

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Urambo Tauro 01/21/2016 at 14:49

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HE’S ONLY DRIFTING BECAUSE HIS REAR WHEELS ARE LOCKED UP WITH SNOW & ICE

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:50

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Okay, what has happened for such a crazy post? Did I miss something?

Did someone have a brain-fart and then post it?

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 14:55

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Total bullshit.

Dead steady, and I can have fun much longer because ground clearance.

CB > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/21/2016 at 14:55

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Here’s hoping you don’t end up beside the noisy ice machine for all of eternity.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Svend 01/21/2016 at 14:55

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There’s just been a string of posts lately about how everybody’s been wintering wrong so this is making fun of them.

Jarrett - [BRZ Boi] > Urambo Tauro 01/21/2016 at 14:57

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Once the Blizzpocolypse comes, I’ll be out doing this :)

wiffleballtony > Officer Jim Lahey is not a real cop 01/21/2016 at 14:57

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Winter is totes cray cray.

-Arizona

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 01/21/2016 at 14:59

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More capability just means you’ll get stuck where no one else can get to you

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 15:00

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Just be sure to change to snow tires anyway.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 15:05

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IN SNOW NO ONE CAN HEAR YOU SCREAM

Svend > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 15:06

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Oh, okay. One of those ‘I know what’s best and everyone else is wrong because I say so’.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 01/21/2016 at 15:09

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Winter is probably warm too

nope, no it’s not, I’m not allowed a warm interior in my car when i get in it

Wacko > BKosher84 01/21/2016 at 15:09

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i’ve been driving daily in the cold northern canadian winters for over 20 years, still here. only lost one car in 20 years.

TheJMan92 > wiffleballtony 01/21/2016 at 15:30

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But the cheese!

- Wisconsin

HammerheadFistpunch > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 16:02

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Pretty much. Also, literally NO ONE ever survived winter before winter tires.

nermal > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 01/21/2016 at 16:33

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How do you know that that fluffy snow that you’re driving on isn’t actually cute fluffy little bunnies with snow on top of them?

If you drive in the snow, it’s like driving over a field of cute fluffy little bunnies. You monster.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > nermal 01/21/2016 at 16:35

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Who’s to say each snowflake isn’t made from the hopes and dreams of a small child?